(no subject)

[nanslice]

Kiddo went home and it was emotional; moreso for Mom and me than for her. It ended up being a pretty great weekend though! She and Dad watched Small Soldiers on Saturday, which has always kinda of been "their" movie. He even had a toy of the character Archer that he ended up giving to her when she was much younger. She ended up helping him to and from the bathroom a couple of times.

As for us, she, my mom, and I watched The Witch and The Revenant which. Well, neither of them were probably appropriate for her but they ended up being pretty good movies. Kiddo and I also played a couple rounds of Town of Salem, which is always fun.

Mom and Dad ended up having the power of attorney talk this morning when I went to work, so that's good. That's a huge relief. We need to print out the papers and get everything signed up but I'm really glad this subject has been broached.

Dad was able to dress himself this morning. Nothing fancy, just putting on some shorts and his belt but it's more than he's been able to do. The steroids are helping.

Sister came over with a ton of food, including some of his favorite snacks and also fried chicken. Dad was pretty happy about that, haha.

I'm keeping it together during the days (I'm still crying but I'm able to actually feel things other than grief) but night is a different story. I've woken up to panic attacks every night since probably Wednesday. I don't know what I can do. I try to do deep breathing and shit but, haha, it's not that helpful. I try to knock myself out with aleve pm (which usually gets me sleeping for at least nine hours) but nothing. I'm only getting about four or five hours of sleep a night and it's not doing me any favors. If anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.

Comments

[lassarina]

I don't know if visiting a general practitioner and asking for help with the sleep thing is an option, but that's where I'd go.

if it's not, I'd say maybe keep a notebook or something by your bed; when you wake up, write down what's upsetting you, get it all out on the page, and then literally close the book and put it aside, then do your deep breathing exercises. (For me, I do a specific count of "breathe in slowly until the count of 4, hold to count of 8, let it out slowly to count of 7.")

I have a free iPhone app (I'm sure it's on android too) called Calm, which does short, guided meditation sessions and rotates what they have available for free. You can also set it to make your preferred version of white noise (my favorites are rain and the ocean) for a set period of time--if I'm having trouble sleeping, I'll often set it to make ocean noises for an hour and a half, which is usually enough for me to overcome my brain. [note that for me, "falling asleep easily" means "it took under 45 minutes"; usually I'm at an hour to an hour and a half post-bedtime.]

[nanslice]

I downloaded the Calm app and it seems to have helped a bit. I've only used it a couple of times but I do feel better after I used it.

Thank you for the rec. :)

[lassarina]

I'm glad it was helpful! I hope you continue to find ways to soothe yourself.

[the_rck]

::hugs::

[nanslice]

*hugs* Thank you. ;3;

[st_aurafina]

*hugs* It sounds like he had a good day, that's great.

When my partner was going through cancer treatment, I ended up seeing a therapist for support, and she put me onto mindfulness/meditation techniques as a way of bringing my anxiety down when I was panicking, and to help me sleep. I still use a meditation app that talks me through a session (I can choose short or long) if I'm sleepless. And I recruited my sister as my middle of the night panic attack buddy, and just knowing I could call her any time meant that I often didn't have to.

*hugs again* Remember to take care of yourself, while you're looking after your parents. It's easy to lose track of that or not allow yourself the time for it.

[nanslice]

I might get in touch with the cancer support place my sister found. I'm doing much better now, particularly since he's doing so well, but I know that I'll have bad days later down the road.

I also downloaded a Calm app that lassarina suggested and while I've only used it a couple of times, it seems to help a bit.

[novel_machinist]

I think everyone is really on point here. Go see a grief councilor. You may need a more robust sedative for the time being. Survivor's support groups are also a great place to start.

If you don't have time or you can't find one in your price range, you could try some over the counter herbal treatments. Do you have an Apothecary near you?

[nanslice]

We have a few vitamin shops around here and I bought something called Rescue Remedy. Typically I'm pretty skeptical of herbal treatments but whether it's actually working or whether it's a placebo effect, it seems to help calm me down a little bit, for a little while.