Plant your hope with good seeds

Happy Easter to those who celebrate! I do not but my store closes early so I get to leave early. That's very nice, aaaahhh. <3 I'm trying SO HARD hard to not waste my mornings before work, so I'm updating DW and also watching a Smosh video.

I've finished a Chris/Leon fic, I just need to go back over it and make sure there aren't too many egregious grammar issues. I don't care about, like, purposefully fucking around with grammar (I love commas and semicolons) but I don't want a simple typo to ruin the vibes, you know?

Aaahhh, okay. I have less than an hour until my shift starts. I'd better start getting ready. ;o; I have Wed-Fri off next week due to WEDDING ANNIVERSARY and I'm just trying to make it until then.

OH ALSO I GOT BIT BY A DOG YESTERDAY. Immediate bruising, a little blood, and swelling, but today it seems to have calmed down.

I wrote a fic!

Something in the Air
Victor Gideon/Leon Kennedy
Rated: M
Content Warning: The big three are non-con, sex pollen, power imbalance. See the tags for the full list of CW. <3

I'm SO HAPPY guys, I haven't written fic in so long and certainly not with this enthusiasm! I have two more fics about halfway finished, and a lil plot summary (there is no real plot) for a fourth one. It's been a VERY long time since I've been like this. It's SUCH a nice place to back in. Especially for written porn, gosh. Apparently all I needed with a horrible dead lizard man. <3 Although not everything I'm working on features Victor Gideon. Just...half of it. XD;

I also went through and locked all of my fic to AO3 logged in users only. I had it so only logged in users could comment but then decided, nah. If you can't comment, you don't get to read! Sorry, not sorry, normies who go to consume fic on A03, don't comment, but then talk about it on tiktok or whatever. :P

(fandom has become so big, so present, so known, and I hate it hate it hate it)

EDIT: And a fifth one! \o/!

I've been struggling to be interested in things lately, but I'm going to try to get some thoughts out!

I'm so excited for 1348 Ex Voto. You play as a knight errant named Aeta and you're off to save your girlfriend. The gameplay looks pretty rough, I gotta admit, but I'm still cautiously excited. I encourage you to not read the comments on that youtube video unless you want to see the very worst of the gamer community complaining about it. :\ Anyways, this game comes out March 12th, which is a Thursday, the beginning of my weekend, so that's really nice. :3

Resident Evil: Requiem was released today and I'm excited to find an LPer who plays in a not annoying manner, haha, because I'm absolutely so hyped for this game, but I'm also a huge chicken who is not good at scary games. XD; Excited to see in a game again. :D

Pokemon Wind/Waves looks gorgeous! Since it's not even being released until 2027, I hope that means they're giving themselves time to really polish it up. And that gives me time to afford a Switch 2, haha. XD;

....had a sudden urge to try to app somewhere to rp. I haven't successfully rp'ed in ages lmao. I don't even know who I'd play as.

Last week, I cut my finger pretty deeply while making food, and missed two days of work trying to give it time to heal (I bathe dogs for a living; I did not want to be sticking an open wound into dirty dog water). The third day, a dog broke my glasses and I had to leave early (I was able to mend them).

Yesterday, I woke up very sick, probably with the same punishing cold Will has. My job is pretty lenient about calling out, but gosh do I hate doing it this often. ;o; It always makes me nervous. My boss is super understanding but I don't want to take advantage of that. Oh well. ;3;

I'm painfully behind on Snowflake Challenge, to absolutely no one's surprise; I did the first one and stopped. XD; There are some that I want to go back and do, but I doubt I'll actually catch up. But that's okay! I want to do the animals/pet one. Speaking of which, I bought Dale's 4x2x2 (120 gallon) terrarium! It looks like it'll be a pretty easy build, and I have several things to add to it (although there are definitely more things I want to add, like some of the climbing vine, some fun rocks/slate, things like that. I'm hoping to get it built today, if I'm feeling better in the afternoon.

I read the first book of the Uriel Ventris series, Nightbringer, and it was delightful; Ventris is an adorable, pious, little murder machine, and I'm pretty sure literally every man he met wanted to top him. I immediately bought the second volume on thriftbooks (a lot of "older" Black Library books are out of print, so I have to search for them as well as be willing to part with more than a little bit of moola). We already own the third book (Will bought it a little while ago) so that should keep me busy for a while. I'm a very slow reader. XD;

This morning I went out, coffee in hand, to sit on the back step. It was very cold but peaceful. I heard the first birdsong of the day. <3 I'd read about how people with ADHD need to sit in the moment sometimes, no screens, no texts, nothing like that, and just allow themselves to be. It was very nice and I think I should start more days like this.

This post is very disjointed bc it was written between a couple of days. I hope it all makes sense. ♥

Belatedly! And Happy Thursday for those who don't celebrate! It was a quiet, lovely day for cypher and me. We broke open the Heroes' Feast DnD cookbook. Will made Amphail Braised Beef and some delicious saffron bread called St. Lucia Buns (they got the recipe from a Scandinavian friend on tumblr). For sides I made Otik's Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes, Quith-Pa (an Elven recipe containing apricots and almonds; the original called for coconut but Will's allergic so I subbed in the almonds), and Wood Elf Forest Salad.

We exchanged gifts, which can be summed up as Warhammer + art supplies (for me) and Warhammer + video games (for Will). As always, I wish I could have done more, but they assured me I did enough. I just want to get them all the nice things. ;3;

I finished my assignment for eatdrinkmakemerry and for secretsanguinala and am now working on a gift and a pinch hit for the latter. I don't know what came over me — possibly having a steady job (good, security!) + the state of the world (extremely bad) is combining in a way that's making my brain look for fun productivity — but I'm having a ton of fun working on fandom stuff. :D It probably also helps that I'm working on mostly crack ships and AUs. Also, wrt Secret Sanguinala, it's my fandom's holiday exchange! I want it to be successful and full! Reveals were late Christmas Eve so this last gift is gonna be a little late, but that's okay.

(I drew ABO porn for the first time! what the heck!)

I both love and hate that Steam has a yearly replay similar to Spotify's Wrapped. I love it because, I mean, I'm very sentimental and I love looking back on the year! But I hate it because it's such a magnifying glass on how bad I am at staying on task in games, lmao. Oh well. I'm hoping 2026 is a kinder year in all ways and I'll be able to focus better on hobby things.

........I usually do a little look back on the year but frankly, 2025 SUCKED and I don't want to. It was just a shitty, disheartening, scary year and I understand that there is a lot of privilege to being able to be like, nope, not gonna focus on all that scary stuff, but damn it! I'm tired of focusing on the scary stuff! It's ALL bad! Even news about video games is bad (Larian employees making fun of the gender stuff in BG3, Larian using AI for the character design in Divinity, etc) and it's just. All bad. So I'm looking forward to the future and the things I can control.

Speaking of which, I bought a fancy hardback planner for this year!

The gold is shiny and I'm using different colored pens to help try and keep me on track. As someone notorious for NOT staying on track on goals....I hope I can stick with this, lmao.

Hello, friends!

Job continues to go well. ( talk of money ) I'm now finally in my regular schedule. Last week going into this week was killer, because I was off Thursday and Sunday, and then went into huge work days on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I need days off together! It's so important! But I'm off Thursday, Friday, and Sunday now, and I can't argue about that. My weekend is here! ;3;

I'm still learning how to be at home without being completely flopped (I've been useless lately) but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I've been playing a lot of Darkest Dungeon, which is such a cozy game to me. XD;

I failed out of Kinktober, which is a surprise to no one! XD I'm really no good with challenges like that. Somehow I manage to do exchanges, although I'm running later than I'd like on two right now. :\a I will make a new post for all the art I did manage, since this post is meant to be fully SFW.

Also! Selphie got her Halloween pictures taken! ♥ ♥ ♥


The best little hotdog. ♥

There is a decided lack of whimsy in my life and man, it's a huge bummer. Today feels especially damning, so I'm gonna make a post!

I'm waiting to sign the paperwork but I've got a job at a nationwide pet supply store. I'll start as a part-time bather and after at least six months and 200 baths, I'll be applying for the grooming academy. I never really thought I'd go back into dog grooming but I have experience, enjoy it, plus it's pretty AI proof, so. You know! Also I love interacting with dogs and breaking down my day into assignments will be good, I think! The hiring manager was off yesterday and will be off today and Sunday, so I'll probably have to wait until Monday to move forward with the paperwork (I got a verbal confirmation, we were just waiting on the background check, which came through yesterday). A little frustrating because I'm really eager to get the show in the road, but I will try to remain patient. ;3;

Related, was able to talk to my doctor about my extreme panic and anxiety, and she upped my prescriptions so here's hoping that helps! I would very much like for it to! I need to find an actual therapist but medication working would also be very good! This house needs an income.

Yesterday I went out and used the little wood chipper to chew up a ton of the old, dead blackberry vines we took out earlier this year. It's not hard but it's tedious and they're pretty stabby. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while so I'm glad I finally found the energy and attention to do it!

Today we're going to a farm fest at one of the local community gardens. It should be a nice little community event, I'm looking forward to music and food, lol.

I'm participating in Kinktober this year, is anyone else? I'm working off the official list( Which I'll put under here since it's explicit ) and I'm pretty excited! I've already started working on mine, since I'm very slow, lmao. They'll all be in black and white since I don't want to try to worry about colors (and I mean, it's a play on Inktober, and I know ink comes in all colors, the tradition is black) and I'm having so much fun. I'm also trying more dynamic poses. I'm planning on posting them daily on bsky, although they're updating their ToS to be pretty shitty towards pornography. :\ I'm so frustrated with how the internet is going (and also everything that is terrible that is happening) and I just want to be able to draw and post porn in peace. But that's not how things are going.

AT LEAST DW IS STILL HERE. <3 <3 <3 Once I'm getting a steady income again, I'm going to put a little towards DW like twice a month or something. We've got to try to protect the spaces we have left. I'll still be posting on Bsky for as long as I can, but. It's a bummer!

Requisite "omg how has it been so long since I updated, blah, blah" shenanigans, time is weird and I don't understand how it goes so quickly.

I've drawn several things recently but I'm gonna share thing th

I took a silly little personality quiz that ended up being extremely accurate! I love personality quizzes and I used to do them all the time. It helps that the design is super cute. <3


I've been on the hunt for a new MMO as my interest in FFXIV wanes (it never really recovered after the shenanigans with the grifter) and have fallen firmly into Elder Scrolls Online. I love the Khajiit so much! I started the game as a dude but since I don't really have a group to play with (Will is playing but they're on PS4 and I'm on PC and there's no crossplay - YET) and I prefer playing as a girl. So I created a second character - also a Khajiit. Whoops!


and also, Razum-Dar is adorable and I love him.


I also started replaying Pokemon Violet, since I didn't get very far along in it. I tried to make my character look like an office worker, lmao. I don't know how old these characters are meant to be but I don't think it's fourteen, right? Like. Maybe.


Also: garden producing a lot! This is just one bowl of five that has been harvested. <3 I'm really pleased with how it's been going! I also have at least four spaghetti squash and six mini-pumpkins! And another six pocket melons! And lemon cucumbers!


I'm definitely going to be expanded the gardens for next year; with the way grocery prices are going it's better, I think, to take advantage of the space we have for vegetables.

Let's see...I'm sure there are more things, but that's all I can think of! I have art to post but some of it is NSFW and should have its own post. :3

I haven't done one of these in a while and now seems like a good time. Stolen from a_natural_beauty, original by sound_of_silence

1. First Name: Amy, although all of my friends call me Nan irl.

2. Age: 39

3. Location: PNW baybeeeeee, specifically Seattle.

4. Occupation: funemployed while I figure out what my silly little brain is doing.

5. Significant Other: I'm married to cypher, also known in this journal as Will. We've been together since 2019 and got married this past April! I love them deeply. <3

6. Kids: None!

7. Brothers/Sisters: My sister from my mom's first marriage! I have three brothers and a sister from my dad's first marriage but we're not close; that sister died and I found out four years later. :\

8. Pets: Four cats: Penelope, a tuxedo; Spicy, a tortie; Waffle, a tortie; Nugget, a void. And my baby lil dog, Selphie, who I adopted when she was 5 weeks old and she's now 12 years old, omg, how does time fly like this? ;o;

9. List the 3 biggest things going on in your life:
3 - battleshipex! I'm extremely excited to make this my entire personality for a while, lol.

2 - Homesteading! I thought I was done starting new things, then I started (indoors) 18 rattlesnake pole beans, 12 cranberry beans, 6 Sadie's horse beans, about a million of two different kinds of amaranths, and a bunch of zinnias, lol. Our tomatoes are loaded down with both green fruits and flowers, the 8 Sadie's horse beans that are already out are doing wonderfully (and have little bean pods forming aaaaaaahhhh), we've been eating zucchini with dinner almost every night this week, and the pumpkins are slowly growing little guys. ;3;

1 - Dealing with this ADHD diagnosis and mental health stuff. Which is going okay! Maybe!

10. Where and for what did you go to school? I dropped out of high school and got my GED, then went to a trade school and got my associate's in applied technology (a hopelessly dated degree lol), worked for a while, then went a private college and got my bachelor's in art. I only went to the private college because, as a non-traditional student (I was 26 when I started), my tuition and fees were basically cut in half.

11. Parents: My dad passed away of cancer eight years ago. I miss him every day. My mom is around and in pretty poor health (breast cancer); we live on opposite US coasts but talk almost every day.

12. Who are some of your closest friends? Will is my very bestest friend. My niece C is a very close friend, although she lives several states away. My cats and dogs, because who said friends had to be the same species. My immediately, physical circle is pretty quiet, and I will not lie, I am terribly lonely a lot of the time lmaooo.