update on my dad

[nanslice]

My dad was diagnosed with cancer. We don't know where it started but it's spread in his lungs, liver, bones, and brain. They didn't give us a prognosis. He's refusing chemo or radiation (which I understand) and also pain treatment. He's not in pain right now but they wanted to set up a plan for what we should do later but he's refusing, saying that he'll deal with it when/if it comes to that. Which is such a Dad thing that I can't even be mad. He wants to go out his own way, on his own terms. I can respect that, even though I'm not looking forward to having to take him to the hospital once the pain does set in.

They gave us a steroid prescription to help with the swelling on his brain, which should help give him more control over his right leg and arm.

The doctor at the hospital (we've never gone to this particular doctor or this particular hospital) said this should have been caught a long time ago. I agree. Particularly since Dad has religiously gone to a regular doctor. But there's nothing to be done about the past. We can only move forward.

In reality, today is the same as yesterday, as last week, as last month. He had this the entire time. And honestly, if it weren't for the limpness in his right arm and leg, we still wouldn't know about it. The nurse said his breathing is extremely good. He's lucid and still has all his mental facilities. He's been joking all day. Fuck, right now he's in his bedroom eating strawberries and watching a baseball game. And his bedroom is very nearby where I'm sitting in the living room; I can hear him if he calls for me.

Today has been a struggle. Mom's holding it together so much better than me; I've been crying more often than not. As little as possible in front of Dad, since I don't want to depress him. I've been joking and keeping things going. But man. I'm not really keeping it together very well. I'm probably going to have a long, hard, sobfest when I go to bed.

Thank you all for being here.

Comments

[omens]

OMG, I'm so sorry :( :( I'm glad you can be there with him even though it's so horrible.

[roseargent]

I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do that would be a little bright spot in a bad day, now or later, please let me know.

[princessofgeeks]

I am so sorry.

[lassarina]

oh, Nan, I'm so sorry. Thinking the best thoughts for you and for him. This is ludicrously hard and there are no words to make it easier. Sending you hugs and love.

(If you need to talk to someone who's been through the parent-with-cancer thing, I'm here for you anytime.)

[nanslice]

I'll probably send you a private plurk if that's alright. I'm not dealing very well with this at all.

[lassarina]

Private plurk, email, IM, whatever works for you. ♥ I can only IM in the evenings but email/pplurk pretty much anytime.

[the_rck]

::hugs:: If there's anything I can do, let me know. I'm around a lot during the day, Eastern time, but not so much at night.

[sarajayechan]

*HUGS*

I'm so sorry.

[cypher]

oh gosh, so sorry. Thinking of you and yours. ;;;

[spectrier]

I'm so sorry, man :( This is such an incredibly rough and horrible thing to have to deal with, just wishing you the best possible that you can have in this sort of situation. I know we don't really talk much but you'll be in my thoughts and I'm here if you need anything at all.

[kalloway]

*hugs* I'll keep your family in my thoughts and send all the positive energy I can.

[gamera]

I'm so sorry.

[tani]

*hugs* I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

[itsamellama]

I'm so sorry :( *hugs*

[hokuton_punch]

God, I am so sorry.

[dancing_serpent]

Oh shit, I'm so sorry! *hugs* If there's anything we can do for you, just say the word.

[chagrined]

I'm so sorry.

[st_aurafina]

Oh, man, that's so hard. I'm sending good thoughts and strength - it sounds like your dad is getting good care, and that makes a lot of things easier.

*so many hugs*

[topaz119]

I'm so sorry. I've been there with you. Please take good care of yourself because it is an exhausting time that is hard to predict what might come next.

[ukefied]

I am so sorry. :(

[alessandriana]

Oh, man, that sucks so much, I am so sorry. Please let us know if you need anything!

[ashkitty]

I'm so sorry to hear it, lovely. Thinking of you and your family. <3

[beccastareyes]

My deepest condolences.

[genarti]

Oh god. I'm so sorry.

[redsixwing]

Oh no. *hugs*

[shipwreck_light]

*hugs for everyone*

PM me if you need a thing, dear.

[helvetica]

I'm so sorry! I was thinking of you this morning wondering how it went.

I can understand he needs time to process all this before he starts setting up any plans.

Don't be afraid to grieve with your dad! He wouldn't want you to suffer by yourself. It's just because you love him and you'll understand! I would really recommend that maybe you see a counselor now or in a bit as things get harder. It's confusing and hard to deal with these feelings and worries.

Lots of love to you and your family!!!

[yohjideranged]

Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear this news! I don't have much in the way of words of support, but I can offer plenty of internet hugs. *squish hug*

I will keep your family in my thoughts.

[tropicsbear]

I am so, so sorry :( *HUGS*

[shanaqui]

I'm so sorry. ♥ Thinking of you.

[shamanicshaymin]

Oh god, this is terrible! I'm so sorry about this. As someone who lost her uncle to cancer that also could've been detected early and prevented? I know how awful this is. Cancer fucking sucks balls.

[houtarouh]

I'm so sorry. :(

*HUGS*

[aurordark]

I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.

[cye_of_the_torrent]

Aw, geez. :( I really am sorry.

[novel_machinist]

<3 I'm so very sorry. <3 We'll be here if you need to vent, cry, or be distracted. Take care of yourself too, even if it feels shallow and hard to do.

[glitteratiglue]

I'm so sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself and your family at this terrible time <3