Noooooo

My niece is bringing her boyfriend for luch today. The same boyfriend who recently made a huge facebook post about how most women lie about sexual assault and how they just want to destroy men's lives and that's the real sexism America is facing.

So yeah, someone pray for me. ಠ_ಠ

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I'm really feeling the urge to work on projects that I've talked about working on but never really started putting forth the effort. Like working on the comic! Learning how to use Ren'Py! Learning how to use the Choice of Games coding to create a simple choose your own adventure game! Working on original projects in general!

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So the nephew who I had stupid facebook drama with came down from Washington to see Dad. And as soon as he looked at him he started to cry. I wasn't expecting this because nephew and my dad had never really been that close but in reality my dad was probably the only positive male role model my nephew had.

And it kills me. This kills me. To know that there's all this history between us and that my dad was part of saving my nephew and nieces lives (figuratively, not literally) and knowing that's going to be coming to an end. That this chapter is being closed. Not tonight, not tomorrow, but sometime relatively soon.

And I think I've become accustomed to all this, I've become accustom to Dad's decline but then someone comes with fresh eyes and it's like I see him through their eyes and it's like. Oh right. This is terrible. And it just feels like my heart is breaking and bleeding all over the place again.