On fandom, my history with it, and moving forward

So. I've been in fandom for a very long time. It was late 2000, I was a shy 13 year old, and we got our first computer. I immediately started searching (not "googling", nope; I used Alta Vista back then) for Slayers and Sailor Moon related stuff. I almost immediately fell into Darkness Rising (I can't believe that site is still around) and the rest is history. Because I didn't go to high school, fandom was absolutely my main way of interacting with the world. From 2000 to 2005, I was basically a shut-in. Then I started college and met imperion. And I mean! I was still addicted to fandom! It's just that I had a partner in crime to enjoy it with irl, haha.

But things change. Fandom is a very different animal. It's so open now. People write their porn under their real name and photo. Rather than the deep discussions available on yahoo groups and journaling websites, the flash bang of tumblr rules. People don't really talk about things anymore. They just like and scroll on. And I've found that although people talk a lot about coming back to journal fandom and recreating what once was, it often ends up being nostalgia talking and very little actually gets done.

And maybe that's just the way it's suppose to be. Nothing can really recreate those golden years. And not just in terms of how fandom works; I don't think I could go back to being as consumed by fandom as I was. And that was absolutely part of the appeal, being able to just lose myself in this online world. I can't. There's too much happening offline. I have too many responsibilities. I have original works I want to develop. I want to take in new media.

I don't know. I still read fic and I'm still interested in writing fic. But. I don't know. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just feeling really sad about the way fandom was but also aware and (finally) accepting that we can never go back to that, and also unsure about whether I would if I could and why is does this particular hobby mean so much (because it was very much a Way of Life for a while there, haha, oh me).

Anyway. This whole thing probably doesn't make much sense but I definitely would love to hear y'all thoughts.

Art post!

I keep saying that I'm going to post art here but I never get around to it. But now! I'm finally doing it.

I completed that piece that I shared, of the King and the Rook. I really have fun with watercolors, even when they do things that I don't intend for them to do, haha.

( Rook and King dancing )

Also, here's a small sketch of Aries and Aquarius. I just really like their design. Better than the others, save for maybe Sagittarius, haha.



Aaaaand here's the next piece to be painted, a supernatural creepster who's probably going to have a quote over his head saying "Hello lovely" or something else suitably creepy, haha. The entire piece shows his entire body and he's kind of squatting down, but even in sketch form I'm not pleased enough to share that. :P