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nansliceSo. I've been in fandom for a very long time. It was late 2000, I was a shy 13 year old, and we got our first computer. I immediately started searching (not "googling", nope; I used Alta Vista back then) for Slayers and Sailor Moon related stuff. I almost immediately fell into Darkness Rising (I can't believe that site is still around) and the rest is history. Because I didn't go to high school, fandom was absolutely my main way of interacting with the world. From 2000 to 2005, I was basically a shut-in. Then I started college and met imperion. And I mean! I was still addicted to fandom! It's just that I had a partner in crime to enjoy it with irl, haha.
But things change. Fandom is a very different animal. It's so open now. People write their porn under their real name and photo. Rather than the deep discussions available on yahoo groups and journaling websites, the flash bang of tumblr rules. People don't really talk about things anymore. They just like and scroll on. And I've found that although people talk a lot about coming back to journal fandom and recreating what once was, it often ends up being nostalgia talking and very little actually gets done.
And maybe that's just the way it's suppose to be. Nothing can really recreate those golden years. And not just in terms of how fandom works; I don't think I could go back to being as consumed by fandom as I was. And that was absolutely part of the appeal, being able to just lose myself in this online world. I can't. There's too much happening offline. I have too many responsibilities. I have original works I want to develop. I want to take in new media.
I don't know. I still read fic and I'm still interested in writing fic. But. I don't know. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just feeling really sad about the way fandom was but also aware and (finally) accepting that we can never go back to that, and also unsure about whether I would if I could and why is does this particular hobby mean so much (because it was very much a Way of Life for a while there, haha, oh me).
Anyway. This whole thing probably doesn't make much sense but I definitely would love to hear y'all thoughts.
imperion. And I mean! I was still addicted to fandom! It's just that I had a partner in crime to enjoy it with irl, haha.But things change. Fandom is a very different animal. It's so open now. People write their porn under their real name and photo. Rather than the deep discussions available on yahoo groups and journaling websites, the flash bang of tumblr rules. People don't really talk about things anymore. They just like and scroll on. And I've found that although people talk a lot about coming back to journal fandom and recreating what once was, it often ends up being nostalgia talking and very little actually gets done.
And maybe that's just the way it's suppose to be. Nothing can really recreate those golden years. And not just in terms of how fandom works; I don't think I could go back to being as consumed by fandom as I was. And that was absolutely part of the appeal, being able to just lose myself in this online world. I can't. There's too much happening offline. I have too many responsibilities. I have original works I want to develop. I want to take in new media.
I don't know. I still read fic and I'm still interested in writing fic. But. I don't know. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just feeling really sad about the way fandom was but also aware and (finally) accepting that we can never go back to that, and also unsure about whether I would if I could and why is does this particular hobby mean so much (because it was very much a Way of Life for a while there, haha, oh me).
Anyway. This whole thing probably doesn't make much sense but I definitely would love to hear y'all thoughts.
no subject
Date: 2017-03-19 12:40 pm (UTC)Okay, there was wank, and crap going on with passive aggressive posts under f-lock and all that stuff, which made me despair because it felt like being back in high school (which was NOT a good time for me!). I tried Tumblr, I really did, but it does not really seem the place for original content--it's a place I see memes and picspams and stuff that wants wide circulation (like 'hey here's a new fic I wrote') but having an actual conversation is futile.
I miss meta the most--the discussions and questions and trying to figure stuff out about a canon world, or a character, but that's narrowed into a very small set of categories that tend to lead to negativity (Is Pidge in Voltron trans? Your opinion will make you friends or mortal enemies!). I thought for a while meta might at least happen in fic comments, but...not so.
I miss the connection. I like kudos on fics, sure, and of course I like comments, but I really miss knowing the people BEHIND those things!
no subject
Date: 2017-03-19 01:22 pm (UTC)And yeah, fandom certainly wasn't this utopia but at least it was all contained. And people could make communities and moderate those communities so if you hated something, you could just refrain from joining the comm! Now everything tagged and thrown together and it just seems to make the drama so much worse. There's xkit but tbh if you have add so much code and work arounds to make a site usable, welp! Maybe that should be a sign that there's a problem. :\
But the bigger question for me is, even if fandom were on a better platform and even if it were like it was back then, I'm not. I just don't have the time to spend obsessing over things like I used to (and that's very much what fandom was for me; an obsession). And I think I'm finally realizing and coming to terms with that. That just as fandom is never going to be like it was 15 years ago, neither am I. And that's okay. That's to be expected.
But it's a hard realization to come to terms with, haha.