(no subject)

[nanslice]

So I was going to post this on Reddit but when I read it back, I pictured how I would respond to someone else if they'd posted this and realized that no, I am not the asshole. But! I went through the work of writing it so I may as well post it somewhere! XD

"Hi, Reddit! So I (f/34) moved to Seattle, WA in February to live with my bf (nb/40) and their roommate, just in time for Covid to really sink its teeth into the US. I basically moved with no savings at all and my bf was like that's fine, that's fine. I managed to get a part-time job as a dog walker and I really enjoy it but it certainly doesn't allow me to pay rent or really help out very much with groceries or things like that (altho I do try to buy things here and there with any extra I have). It's a safe job because I don't interact with people and it's mostly outside.

To make up for my lack of financial assistance, I clean. Basically if something gets cleaned, I'm the one who does it. I certainly don't mind, it's the least I can do! I also tend to do the more physical laborious things around the house when needed, like digging gardens/moving furniture/whatever.

There is a program offered here that helps people get into trade jobs and I'm planning on doing it for cement masonry. However you have to take classes for about 12 weeks and I would be out of a job for that amount of time and would also be in close contact with other people. The classes start at the end of August. The next time I would be able to sign up is in January.

My boyfriend has already assured me that if I'm not comfortable taking the classes in August, there's no problem at all to wait until January. And I know I should just believe them because they would be honest with me but also I feel guilty for being a leech. ;; Also it's difficult for me to just accept that people are okay with me not doing everything possible to be helpful (which is a mental health story for another time!).

So, tell me, Reddit. Would I be the asshole for waiting until January to take the tradesmen classes?"

Comments

[yuuago]

You are definitely not an asshole here. Waiting is a smart move!

Hope things will be more reasonable in January and you'll be able to take those classes. :)

[nanslice]

Thank you! I'm hoping that things are at least somewhat normal by January! Jeeeez. ;;;;

[helvetica]

NTA ! A key part to a relationship is trust which is trusting what your partner says. You're not a leech, you're contributing and your partner is happy with your contribution ❤️ be kind to yourself, this is a hard time for people.

[nanslice]

Aw, thank you. ;3; That is a hard thing for me to remember; trusting what people say. I will try to remember this!

[lil_1337]

You would be making good life choices by not risking infecting yourself, your bf, and roommate.

You are working and you are doing what you can around the house. That balances. Your value as a person and part of a relationship does not equate to the amount of money you bring into the relationship.

[lassarina]

^ hey this is everything I wanted to say.

[nanslice]

Thanks. I know logically it's a good idea to quarantine as much as possible, which includes not doing this! It's just. Hard. ;3;

And oof, that last sentence. I really need to remind myself of that on the daily.

[girlofprey]

No, not at all. You're going to have to be out of a job for 12 weeks no matter when you do it, and if your concern is about being in close contact with people during a pandemic, then you're not putting it off out of laziness, you're putting it off for your health. Given everything I've heard about how the pandemic is currently going in America, I'd say the safer you can be, the better. And if you get sick, that may affect your ability to work and pay your way anyway. It's not you being an asshole, it's just terrible timing/bad luck for everyone who wants to do things right now.

[nanslice]

Yeah, you're right! I'm trying to keep that in mind, that the way the world is right now means that things are...it's hard for things to work out the way we want them to. It's all weird.

And yes, American is doing a REAL BAD JOB handling this. I'm in Washington and we're handling it better than certain states, but we're still seeing between 600-1000 new cases a day. :\

[dreamwriteremmy]

Nope, not the asshole. And tbh I'd probably post it over there anyway if I were in similar situations, because there are PROBABLY other people who have similar crises of consciousness over "aaa am I overreacting to current pandemic or totally within conscientious bounds?" But ymmv. :)

[nanslice]

Haha, maybe I will! Reddit scares me sometimes, even tho I hang out there quite often, and I would be afraid of mean comments. XD

[adafrog]

I'm with the people who say listen to your gut.
That is really interesting about that program.

[nanslice]

It's called Anew! It seeks to create diversity in trade. I'm much more suited for physical work rather than sitting in an office and this will pay well and give me a lot of control over my schedule and stuff. :)

[adafrog]

Very cool.

[tropicsbear]

NTA! As long as you've worked out the division of responsibilities in the house (and based on what you've written, everyone's okay with it), then I don't see any problems with waiting for the January class. Because COVID is a very real threat.

Plus, taking it in January can give you more time to prepare/save funds for the classes if needed.

[nanslice]

The first bit of the classes is boot camp, so I definitely need to start working out! I'm plenty strong enough, I think, but I could use some work on my stamina.