nanslice: ([MCU] not as planned)
[personal profile] nanslice
So. I've been in fandom for a very long time. It was late 2000, I was a shy 13 year old, and we got our first computer. I immediately started searching (not "googling", nope; I used Alta Vista back then) for Slayers and Sailor Moon related stuff. I almost immediately fell into Darkness Rising (I can't believe that site is still around) and the rest is history. Because I didn't go to high school, fandom was absolutely my main way of interacting with the world. From 2000 to 2005, I was basically a shut-in. Then I started college and met [personal profile] imperion. And I mean! I was still addicted to fandom! It's just that I had a partner in crime to enjoy it with irl, haha.

But things change. Fandom is a very different animal. It's so open now. People write their porn under their real name and photo. Rather than the deep discussions available on yahoo groups and journaling websites, the flash bang of tumblr rules. People don't really talk about things anymore. They just like and scroll on. And I've found that although people talk a lot about coming back to journal fandom and recreating what once was, it often ends up being nostalgia talking and very little actually gets done.

And maybe that's just the way it's suppose to be. Nothing can really recreate those golden years. And not just in terms of how fandom works; I don't think I could go back to being as consumed by fandom as I was. And that was absolutely part of the appeal, being able to just lose myself in this online world. I can't. There's too much happening offline. I have too many responsibilities. I have original works I want to develop. I want to take in new media.

I don't know. I still read fic and I'm still interested in writing fic. But. I don't know. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just feeling really sad about the way fandom was but also aware and (finally) accepting that we can never go back to that, and also unsure about whether I would if I could and why is does this particular hobby mean so much (because it was very much a Way of Life for a while there, haha, oh me).

Anyway. This whole thing probably doesn't make much sense but I definitely would love to hear y'all thoughts.

Date: 2017-03-19 10:31 am (UTC)
dancing_serpent: (Default)
From: [personal profile] dancing_serpent
When I got into online fandom I was already in my mid-twenties and working a full time job. So in my case, there's no connection between adolescence (or childhood) and fandom, as it is for so many people I talk to. I don't think in ways of "I'm an adult now, I'm too old for fandom, or I have no time for fandom any more". I've never been as consumed by fandom as other people were. There was LARP and Pen & Paper roleplaying, I went dancing every weekend, and I went to concerts and music festivals. But still, there's quite a bit of nostalgia on my part.

Rather than the deep discussions available on yahoo groups and journaling websites, the flash bang of tumblr rules. People don't really talk about things anymore. They just like and scroll on.

This is where my nostalgia makes an appearance. I miss the discussions, the interaction. People leaving comments on fic. There are a few reasons why I run a few lines of code to suppress anything involving kudos on AO3. For one, they don't mean anything to me. For another, it helps me with not falling into the kudos trap myself. I'm still writing comments on the fics I liked.

...although people talk a lot about coming back to journal fandom and recreating what once was, it often ends up being nostalgia talking and very little actually gets done.

And this is something that annoys me. Because I do try to do something. I create communities, I find people who create stuff and ask them if they'd like to post, I even try to create content myself (as I'm neither an artist, nor much of an author, or icon maker, this is really difficult for me). But people say "Meh, it's so empty, I'm not posting when it's so empty.

And I can't help thinking of an empty dance floor, and people being too shy to start and be the first one dancing. And they forget that once somebody makes the first move, more people will follow, and then you'll barely have the space for fancy moves. (I got the [community profile] anime_manga running by asking a few people to dance with me.)

I'm sorry. This did turn out more like a rant than anything else. :-(

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